Last week I was feeling very sad. I kept on crying and sobbing for days, because I thought I was homesick, since we just had moved from The Netherlands to Australia 4 months ago. At the same time I kept on having images of my childhood around the time I was 9 years old. This was the time when we as a family moved from one village to another.
During this my dad was working overseas and my mum had to organize everything on her own: packing, cleaning, and painting the new house, all during the move. Just before we moved, there was an incident in which I was involved. Some girlfriends from school and I had agreed to bring along some money from home to buy some candy after school. But I did not ask my mum for the money, I took my pocket-money and because this was not enough, I took some money from her purse without asking. Up till this day I do not know why I did this. Maybe I was afraid she would not approve.
Well you can imagine this was not really smart. And though I had apologised and my mum had forgiven me, the enemy had already put his spin on the situation.
So back to the sadness. I invited God; my dad into all of this, asking Him what was going on and to shed some light on this sadness.
He was quick to answer and said I had made 3 agreements:
“nobody loves me, nobody understands me, nobody trust me”
I know this sounds pretty heavy, dramatic even but you must realise that most of the time we are not aware that we have made these agreements. It is where the enemy comes in and whispers his lies and we unconsciously agree to his deceit and trickery, and this is how he gets a foothold in our lives.
This wound had to be restored because it is here where you are still that 9-year-old girl even if you are older now. Nobody gets through this life without being hurt. That’s why we need restoration. And because our Father is ever so gracious and up to our healing he affirmed me by saying that I am His little girl and He called me darling. These words were balm for my soul. I am His and I feel safe again. He is my Dad and He is the best.
This is what God is up to in our lives if we let Him. If you are in a situation when you are worried or troubled invite God or Jesus into the situation and ask Him what is going on. Ask Him if you have made any agreements? If so break them. And ask God your Father what he thinks of you as a woman. He wants to tell you, affirm you as his daughter.
We have been disciplined by our earthly fathers to the best of their ability but God not only disciplines us, He corrects us, guides us and is working with us because he is up to our restoration. And when your heart is freed from all kinds of lies God can take up more space in your heart and you will love Him for this.
Your heart is the dwelling place of God (Ephesians 3:17) He lives there. And you will grow more and more closer to Him if you let Him.